I took the test again. I'm desparate for 3 points. Absolutely desparate. I got the letter in school mail today about how I'm fired July 1, if I fail the test again. It was terrible to read those words. I feel like the letters were a bit premature as my class, which is also required, isn't over yet. And the technology credit I need will not be awarded until June 1 from my school.

They just don't seem to care about how good my teaching is. They want me to do improv in Spanish, so that I can teach the 6th grade -ar verbs. The absolute worse case is sub pay for next year. That's not enough to eat on. I have no idea what happens to my retirement, experience level, health benefits... I'm terrified. I'm glad we don't have a baby now.
This just all sucks, and I wonder what I've gotten myself into.

You must have prayed. I prayed. I think it's all going to work out. Tacos for 150, cake, sodas, and everything. Special love to God, my husband, my family and my friends.

Anxiety can kiss it...I think...yes...it should kiss it...it betrays me everytime.

Wonderful things happen-- the PTSA will pay for all the paper products for the big event.
Bad things happen -- We're $235 short on the bill.

Pray for me.

I find myself swallowing my pride more now than I ever have in my life. I'm a Spanish teacher who isn't fluent, and I can't find peace in that. I teach middle school, and I don't need to know everything to teach my class, but I continue to feel inadequate. I'm not good on the fly with unfamiliar subjects. Who would be? But I think the staff is over confident because of what my students can do, and because I'm the queen of pedagogy. I'm the best Spanish speaker my school has in house, but I'm not that great.

I yearn for the day I can teach another subject or go back to school (in whatever that is not foreign language related). Is my Spanish better than the average Joe? Of Course. But do I want to engage every Jose in conversations about politics, bus stops, fights in the bathroom, IEP's, or academic probation? No.

I'll be glad to get this year behind me.

Anxiety

Anxiety is so strange. I'm waiting for someone to come mow the grass, and my chest is tight and I'm sweating a little. Bizarre.