well, i'm on day two of a migraine, which means i eat 24-7. At 10 p.m. yesterday I had 2 Bo' Berry Biscuits from Bojangles. Today I had a chicken salad sandwich from Panera, dripping with whatever lubricates chicken salad. Then for dinner every bite of a portobella mushroom wrapini, tortilla chips, and salsa from Jason's. I know the food today doesn't sound bad for me, it wasn't. However, the portions in resturants are huge, and I compulsively clean my plate of every morsel.
It doesn't help that I am very stressed about work. I work all day, grade during planning. do yearbook after school, and then plan for the next day at home. I don't feel like I have a spare minute. It's awful. This headache is holding me back, and I can't seem to get enough to drink. I'm so thirsty all the time. The stress carries over to home. I feel tired, huge, unattractive.
I went for the blood letting today. I hope my cholesterol is lower. I have a feeling it will be up because my weight is up. None of my pants fit anymore and my bras are even getting too tight. I swear my ankles are bigger. Since no one reads this, I'm just going to be honest. I'm about at the point of letting go. I am just so at the limit of what I can do on my own for myself. I am spent and out of energy to spend time on me. These feelings, of course, make everything worse. I see myself in the classroom without creativity and with sarcasm. I hate being sarcastic to the kids; I don't think it's right to use sarcasm in a setting where "there's no such thing as a dumb question," but I feel like I'm as jaded as they are right now. And if you know any eighth graders, that's a lot.
