New song.

Where are you now Forest Gump?
Times aren't as simple as they used to be.

Peace is here. I am a teacher. Licensed.

If I was a character in Achewood, Ray would say I was going through some circumstance.

I'm having trouble finding peace with the PRAXIS issue. I try to be understanding, but after all the hoops and three years of successful teaching under my belt I am waiting three more weeks to find out if I got three lousy points on some lousy test to see if life can continue as I know it. It is just dumb. I have never in three years of teaching been offered even one criticism on an observation. Every time another person has come in to watch me teach I have had all above-average or excellent reviews and never one suggestion for improvement, ever. I'm a great teacher, but the PRAXIS says the school system should fire me.

I just can't wrap my brain around the situation, and I am spending every day just trying to get through the day. I just want to survive the day and get home. The pressure has, in effect, made me a worse teacher in the past 3 months than I have ever been.

I took the test again. I'm desparate for 3 points. Absolutely desparate. I got the letter in school mail today about how I'm fired July 1, if I fail the test again. It was terrible to read those words. I feel like the letters were a bit premature as my class, which is also required, isn't over yet. And the technology credit I need will not be awarded until June 1 from my school.

They just don't seem to care about how good my teaching is. They want me to do improv in Spanish, so that I can teach the 6th grade -ar verbs. The absolute worse case is sub pay for next year. That's not enough to eat on. I have no idea what happens to my retirement, experience level, health benefits... I'm terrified. I'm glad we don't have a baby now.
This just all sucks, and I wonder what I've gotten myself into.

You must have prayed. I prayed. I think it's all going to work out. Tacos for 150, cake, sodas, and everything. Special love to God, my husband, my family and my friends.

Anxiety can kiss it...I think...yes...it should kiss it...it betrays me everytime.

Wonderful things happen-- the PTSA will pay for all the paper products for the big event.
Bad things happen -- We're $235 short on the bill.

Pray for me.